The Pros And Cons Of Having A Baby At Age 17 [10 Years Later]

Writer’s personal Photograph

It’s been a hard and long decade.

Parenting a young child yielded extreme pains and triumphs that were beloved. I missed out on a lot of my youth, but that I also got a head-start in life that just young parents could actually understand.

Now I’m over the hump. The good outweighs the bad, and that I believe the hardest instances are far behind me.

Here are some thoughts and memories, from a teenage parent, 10 Decades later, of the pros and the cons:

Guru: You have a story

My adulthood was different than my peers’. While they were hanging out from dormitories, I had been teaching him to ice skate, watching Toy Story 2, or washing the sheets after he vomited in his bed.

People always want listen to me talk about lucky for them I have a story to tell, and what it & rsquo; s like being a young father.

Con: You overlook

I had a studio flat in school. On Friday nights, when all my friends were going to a pre-game, I’d be sitting in the dark, my son an arm length away, clicking through Facebook photos actually sobbing over pictures out of nights that I had to miss, spring break trips I never have to shoot, or research abroad programs I couldn’t wait.

Each record buried me in a wave of solitude, and to the day that’s the thing I&rsquo.

Guru: You’re adulting sooner

By 16 on, I’ve maintained a project. I’ve kept a grocery list. I’t washed our flat. Having a baby means you’ll need to grow.

I’m glad I heard these customs early-on.

Con: You’re awakened

Our very first flat in 17 was a shit hole. It was in a decrepit building in a neighborhood of a city. I worked at rsquo & Papa Gino;therefore making pizzas for $8/hour. I could hardly afford diapers for my newborn.

I & rsquo; ve had little for spending on the essentials and over groceries all of the while, however ever since then I & rsquo; ve updated my living position moving to better and better apartments.

I’m 28 years old today and making a great salary, and I find that I’m broke. It’s difficult to save money for a school fund and a 401k when you have a kid that requires his bedroom and after school care and summer camp along with garments.

Guru: You’re moved

It motivates me to progress my career when there’s.

I’m fortunate to say that I’ve discovered success in my own career. I’m currently the director of marketing in a tech startup. Far out of my pizza days spinning.

Con: You have to forfeit your dreams

When I was 16 I was getting recruited by colleges to play lacrosse. I loved the game, and I wanted to play with at the next level.

If my girlfriend-of-the-time got pregnant, I knew I wouldn&rsquo.

For years I’ve imagined I had played in school and what life could have been like if I hadn & rsquo; t had my son. I wonder where I’d have gone to college, what my social life could have been like, and what my life is like today.

Guru: You have a great deal in common with your kid

My son and I spent blasting Despacito. We enjoy the films. We follow exactly the instagram accounts—@jerryoftheday anybody?

As soon as I was 10 years old, I’m need to dress like my daddy. However, my hats are worn by my son occasionally and he enjoys. That’s quite cool.

Con: You contend with your kid

With this much in common, my son and I slip into treating each other like brothers. He throws shade at me and takes a shot, or occasionally–I’m embarrassed to say.

Con: You put a lot of stress in your family

Having a baby at rsquo & 17 wasn;t stressful for me personallypersonally, it was stressful for my friends and family too.

My father refused to meet my son until he was 6 weeks old, it took my parents a very long time to come around and although now he & rsquo; rsquo & s my son; s favorite person on Earth.

I don’t blame this particular conduct on them. They know how difficult parenting is, and that I practically threw away all of the hard work they’d done to give me benefits.

Guru: You raise an only-child

Adults continually surround my son. He has uncles and grandparents who, when we get are undividedly focused on him.

He’so comfortable with dialogue, and he’s been articulate consequently.

Con: You raise an only-child

My son will love some more playmates. He doesn’he won & rsquo, and t have some cousins, let alone siblings;for some time longer, t need either.

He can get bored when my family gets together or when my spouse and I have friends over for dinner. He’s often the only kid around.

Guru: You have them in another environment

Doing this with my son was a fantastic experience, although I & rsquo; m not certain I & rsquo; ll raise my children in a city. His families are intriguing and come from many diverse backgrounds. Towns are a little one-dimensional. I probably wouldn’t have raised my son that way if I had him in my 30s.

Con: You move around a lot

You’ll go. Having a kid doesn’t change this.

My son has lived in probably 10 different areas at different areas of his life his grandparents, between his mother, along with myself going. And we’re not all the way settled yet.

Guru: You aren’t expected to marry

I think our households sort of expected us to break up at some stage. We began dating in 16. We awakened by 19. Due to that we were not pressured to marry.

Con: You’re a single parent

In the 8 years between the moment rsquo & my son;s mother and I split, and I & rsquo; ve scrambled to create a stable environment for my son, when I got married last year. I spent in my parents house to have the excess help for him.

Ever since getting a two-parent household, I’ve realized how challenging it had been unmarried. My son never profited in the heaps of attention and love he receives, and that I never felt that the support of a spouse .

Our household’s stability is more solid than ever–a stark contrast to years in flux.

Con: Your relationships are harder

I can&rsquo relationships are harder when you have a child.

Lucky for me, my spouse and I have been motivated enough to dedicate an enormous quantity of energy into creating a joyful relationship. When she wasn’t such an amazing person, or if we knew at the beginning things were likely to bes our connection wouldn’t’ve worked.

Guru: You are more effective at serious relationships

A child forces you to understand the skills for a wholesome relationship. My son has helped me get better in listening, nurturing, and respecting people, and that has carried over naturally to my connection with my spouse.

Moreover, the lifelong commitment I had made to loving my son, made me feel comfortable when making a one to my spouse.

Con: You have a harder time making parent-friends

When I appear to a publishing celebration at college or the sideline of a football game, people are somewhat unsure of who I am and why I’m there. Once rsquo & I; m merely a 20-something further, I feel somewhat uneasy in a room filled with 40-somethings.

This awkwardness puts me at a disadvantage. It’so harder for me to make friends and thus my peer-parent-support is constrained. Unfortunately that also means my son inevitably gets encouraged to birthday parties and playdates.

Now I harbor’t taken this lying down. I’ve worked difficult to reach out to other parents, and although I have today, I have to confess, I believe that the relationships are a little weaker than that which love.

Guru: You receive support from your neighborhood

Before my son was born, I was given a stack of classic kids by my class. Around precisely the same time we had a massive baby shower at which many of my friends parents gave us ample gifts that we needed.

My parents have done more for me than they did my brothers, and I’m not certain if I like this or not, however I’ve been a small charity case.

Con: Your stress will show occasionally

Having a kid is one of the hardest things. It’s trying today and it was ever more stressful at 17.

My temper was susceptible to flare up usually when I’m engulfed in my son and a task is prying for focus. It appears as a scream and ends in an apology.

Guru: You’ll be Ready to have your next children

Now that I’m together with rsquo & my spouse I can;t wait to have our children. I mean I can wait but I look forward to have more benefits and feeling more prepared, when the time comes.

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