Pop-Tarts Just Called Us All Virgins on Twitter For Some Reason

Though I’m sure you are totally conscious by now, we are strongly in an age of Twitter where brand names roast the shit from us clients, and all of us like it therefore now brand names do it continuously.



When did brand names begin soaking on everybody on Twitter? Windex simply called me a dumb bitch.

.– Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) December 18, 2017

Sensing these winds of modification, Pop-Tarts adjusted their sails to join their fellow brand names, and revenue off the sweet RT’s and favorites. The outcome of their efforts is this tweet, which is genuinely complicated in everyway:

Calm down it’s a virgin like you.

— Pop-Tarts (@PopTartsUS) July 10, 2018

” Calm down it’s a virgin like you”.

This is not a tweet targeted at anybody. No one tweeted @PopTartsUS and resembled “SUP FUCKS your Brown Sugar Cinnamon Tarts taste like SHIT” then Pop-Tarts needed to action in and resemble “listen up asshole if you come for the king you much better not miss out on” then knock them down a couple pegs.

No. It is an out-of-nowhere promo for their crazy looking split character Pop-Tart, NEITHER HALF OF WHICH is daquiri flavored, by stating like the daquiri it is inexplicably dipped in, all of us are virgins.

The Pop-Tarts Corporation called all of us virgins.

So much legwork was done here in order for Pop-Tarts to toss themselves this alley-oop to soak down on all their consumers for no factor.

The daquiri existing is a substantial walk to take. I imply yeah half of the Pop-Tart is frosted strawberry, and it’s a strawberry daquiri however c’mon men, jesus.

And hello listen, I’m all for brand names soaking on individuals when individuals deserve it. And truthfully, we’ve now gotten to a point where plainly individuals are heading out of their method to obtain roasted.

Why does Pop-Tarts have to suckerpunch my innocent ass on Twitter when individuals horny to obtain owned like this exist?

Also something to be presumed here is that Pop-Tarts as a business fucks. Stands to factor if they are teasing all of us for being virgins, that Pop-Tarts is not, and fucks a lot. Which is very important in fact, since I choose not to consume toaster pastries from any corporation that does not fuck difficult and frequently.

Of course this viral roasting isn’t really finish without another 3rd tier brand name crawling out of the woodwork to chime in with a high 5 so that everyone keeps in mind to purchase their item too.

LMAO savage

.– SunnyD (@sunnydelight) July 10, 2018

Thank you, Sunny D. As if being called a virgin by a breakfast pastry was inadequate, now an orange colored beverage has actually stepped atop of me, provided me their hand to select me up, and after that ‘SIKE ‘d me and utilized that hand to comb their hair.

Please brand names on Twitter, take care with this outrageous power you for some factor presently wield. In some way the line in between promoting your outrageous strange items to us and cyberbullying us is blurrier than ever and I would value not residing in a dystopia where I awaken every early morning and need to evade Papa John’s calling me fugly.


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