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5 Famous Movie Scenes Every Single Person Gets Wrong

Certain classes, whose names we will not mention (*Infection*), have made careers from pointing out the absurd shit pulled by Hollywood screenwriters who do not wish to put in the time or effort to produce a credible scene. But once again, and to no one’s surprise, it ends up that we might be the assholes here. If you simply look at them somewhat 24, some of the most scenes in film history create a whole lot of sense. For instance …


Superman Didn’t Rewind Time By Reversing The Earth’s Rotation

At the climactic scene of 1978’s Superman, Supes is way too busy saving the complete West Coast from a nuclear missile attack to notice the ground consuming Lois Lane’s candy red Ford Custom. What follows is one of the very lambasted film scenes in superhero history.

After temporarily grieving over the dead nonetheless unsquished Lois, Superman blasts off into the air and does laps round the world till he reverses the rotation of the planet. Rather than causing every living human that is last to take pratfalls, this manages to rewind time itself. And in the event that you’re able to watch that scene without creating a gesture difficult it sprains your wrist, you ought to be rewarded for your own fortitude.

But Really …

Superman did not reverse time by causing the entire world to spin backward, but by flying faster than light — a power he has canonically had ever since he was a wee Superboy, when he sent Ma and Pa Kent back in time to perform a little 18th-century swashbuckling.

DC Comics
And swinging …

Audiences have been misinterpreting the scene. The Earth turning backward isn’t the cause of time moving in reverse; it’s just another impact, such as the falling rocks flying back up and also the crumbling dam sucking on its own water back in.

Is it dumb whenever it is demanded by the plot that Superman can basically yank a superpower from his super-shorts? You can take up that with almost a century’s worth of comic book authors, not us.


Nobody Ever Said The White Guy Was The Last Samurai

The Last Samurai needs to be among the most oblivious pieces of cultural insensitivity Hollywood ever created. We are fairly certain we do not wish to hear just what the filmmakers were stating if assigning a diminutive Scientologist the use of the titular past samurai somehow made a statement.

But Really …

Whoever said Tom Cruise was the last samurai? It may have been his rocky visage near the title on the film posters …

Warner Bros.. Pictures

… but the true past samurai (plural) were the group of warriors with whom his personality trained and fought. He may have heard from them and even taught them a thing or two about Americans (read: firearms), but he could never truly hope to become among them, if only because of the peak requirement.

The last samurai (singular) was the last survivor of that group, Katsumoto. According to Saigo Takamori, who is considered to be the bona fide final samurai, Katsumoto meets his end the identical way his real-world counterpart failed: by following the samurai code and committing ritual seppuku. From Cruise’s character, he does this with help unlike his counterpart that is real-world.

Warner Bros.. Pictures
To be clear, Cruise’s real role here would have been to behead Katsumoto to finish his suffering.

The ending narration even makes a point of explicitly differentiating between the two — the “American captain” who resides to fade into obscurity, and the samurai, whose days had come to an end. Truly, the film is just another victim of our tendency to associate the character. Like how Die Hard is the harrowing story of Mr. Jonathan Diehard.


The Silly Dinner Scene Out Of Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom Was An Elaborate Clue

Friends and Indy’ arrive at Pankot Palace in India, where they are invited to come slurp on a variety of dishes, every more horrifying than the past. Like live snakes that slither from another, larger snake …

… chilled monkey brains functioned right from the cranium …

… and soup that wishes it only had flies in it:

Evidently, this is all nothing more than a throwaway bit of gross-out comedy. Let us all laugh at the backward savages, with repulsive eating customs and their skin! And how ’bout them hats that are funny, huh? Huh?

But Really …

The entire scene was a hint that something was amiss in Pankot Palace. The people were Hindus. And as Indy remarks to Captain Blumburtt from the original script, “Even when they were trying to scare us away, a devout Roman could never touch meat. Makes you wonder what these people are …”

As we find out a few minutes after, that’s because they are in truth members of the Thuggee cult. Of course, we could’ve known that away, if only we had been paying attention to the inhabitants of the vegetarian palace retained fucking Clive Barker as their chef.


Princess Leia’s Inexplicable British Accent Was Pretty Explicable

Listen, Star Wars is great, but continuity has never been its strong suit. Take this scene, for instance.

One minute, Princess Leia is speaking to Grand Moff Tarkin as when the two are going to have tea, the next she’s berating Chewie within an accent best described as “cabbie.”

But Really …

By her own admission, Carrie Fisher was approximately 78 percent cocaine whilst filming Star Wars. But Claudia Grey, author of Star Wars: Bloodline, has an official canonical explanation for its linguistic slip-up: Leia was merely being her usual, wisecracking self: “[Leia is] actually making fun of Tarkin. She is mocking his accent in that moment.”

That is believable, considering the very first words from her mouth are telling Tarkin that he smells like the polite equivalent of a Taco Bell dumpster.


Independence Day‘s Groan-Inducing “Virus” Option Might Make Sense

Quick refresher for those of you who’ve rage-repressed the memory: In the climax of Independence Day, Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith fly in an invading alien mother ship, where Goldblum whips out his trusty MacBook (circa 1996) and hacks the script into allowing the good guys win. Of course, as everybody knows, Apple and the aliens’ working systems wouldn’t be compatible.

But Really …

According to the film, humanity has experienced an alien fighter collecting dust in Area 51. That is plenty of time for the world’s brightest minds to reverse-engineer some technology. In fact, because this ship’s discovery predates computers, our technology may be derived from the boat’s system. So connecting a MacBook to the ship is, seeing as how we’d years and it may have been developed in the same point in the first place. If we’re calling bullshit about anything, it must be that the aliens made it to Earth at all, because they are basically using Apple Maps.

Saikat Bhowmik is a child who has grown a beard to look like a grown-up. You can follow him at Twitter, and visit his channels Amuzic and Amuzic II. Quinn “Yes, It’s Pronounced ‘Kenobi'” Knobbe is a kid who never grew up. For more of the idiotic musings, follow his Facebook here. Mike Garowee works a dairy farm in New Hampshire. Jordan Breeding includes a blog, a Twitter, and will be the world’s premier Gerard Butler apologist.

All dogs look great in a Superman costume, it’s scientifically proven! And of course Batman and Wonder Woman.

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