In the ‘sleep-all-night-like-an-angel’ teenagers into the ‘scream-bloody-murder-til-mommy-comes’ infants, we all understand that kids are wired very differently. Nonetheless, it can be tough to not internalize their behaviour as a failure in our parenting–particularly when you are “blessed” together with all the latter type.
From the words of Jordan Harrell, “THREE difficult infants? That seems illogical. Surely, the common denominator is their turning ill-equipped mother. ” She WAS the problem.
At least, that had been her decision, until she recalled a poignant experience her youthful mother once had in church that completely transformed her perspective. The mommy blogger took to Facebook using a viral article that’s currently encouraging mamas of these chronic criers at the most beautiful way:
“I went 0 for 3 on easy infants.
There was lots of colic and crying and ear infections and food allergies along with little-to-no sleep.
My tubes are tied, only if you’re wondering just how much I loved it.
Through those years of long nights (and long days), there was LOTS of yelling. There were a few nights that I wasn’t sure I could take it. I desired it to stop and told the baby as much. They never listened.
Therefore the crying goes from a solo into a duet, me and the baby swaying in dramatic harmony, alternating heaves as we wondered who would be able to reign it.
A good deal of these nights, I felt like such a failure. THREE difficult infants? That seems illogical. Surely, the common denominator is their turning ill-equipped mother. That will make more sense.
But during those minutes of questioning my mommy-fitness, I’d think back to a story my mom had told me.
She had been a young mom with her first baby, my brother, that had been, you guessed it, HARD. He was colicky and clingy. He only wanted my mom and never slept.
One Sunday morning at church, baby Justin began crying mid-service. My mom quickly made the long walk into the rear of the church to calm him down in the nursery.
Sitting alongside her at the other rocking chair was just another mom, a baby laying against her chest about precisely the identical age as Justin. He sat nuzzled peacefully against her, not even a peep from him as Justin screamed at the top of the lungs.
“What’s your key? How is he so easygoing? ” my mother half-joked, half pleaded.
“Well, he’s actually not mine. I’m his foster mom, and it’s not so much he’s easygoing. He just spent the first month or two of his life yelling non-stop without a response. Nobody ever came. The yelling didn’t work because of him. He stopped. And today, he never cries.
Your son’s crying is a fantastic thing. It means he trusts you, trusts you’ll come. ”
So on these really bad nights, when I had been so sure that this was my fault, I’d replay that dialogue in my mind.
His crying is a fantastic thing.
He’s crying because he understands I’ll answer.
So to the mamas of tough infants, be grateful for the yelling. Go up them and hold them close.
They ’re not crying because you’re a bad mom.
They ’re crying because you’re such a great one. ”
Read more: http://www.faithit.com