With Valentines Day right around the corner, romance and by association, sex is forefront in everyones mind. For those without significant others, its not so much sex on the brain, but the depressing lack thereof.
Either way, much of your thoughts over the next few weeks are likely to be dominated by the subject.
The folks at British health and beauty retailer Superdrug Online Doctor thought, in the spirit of the holiday, it would be interesting to examine how different cultures talk about sex specifically, what slang terms different countries use when talking about intercourse (and, for the single folk, masturbation).
Check out the graphics below to see the different idioms different countries use when talking about sex, and find more at Superdrug Online Doctor.
English (UK): Bashing the Bishop
Nope, this isnt an admission of assault on a church figure, but rather an admission of assault on yourself. Bashing the bishop, beating the meatwhatever you want to call it, this ones all about that self-love.
Spanish: To put the cake in the oven
Its kind of like having a bun in the oven, but before the bun is cooked, you have to put something else in the oven. Get it? (The oven is a metaphor for a womb, obviously).
English (US): Netflix and chill
German: To scrub ones carrot
Leave it to the Germans to get literal with their sexual innuendos. Sure, there isnt really any scrubbing involved (hopefully), and OK, its not a carrot but the visual is pretty spot-on.
English (UK): Bumping uglies
Pretty straight forward. Dicks are ugly. Vaginas are ugly. Theyre both ugly when you bump em together. Bumping uglies.
Italian: To sweep
Apparently, this is a really vulgar way of talking about sex. Scopare, in Italian, comes from the noun scopa, which means broom. Why this is a metaphor for sex is kind of unclear, unless its the phallic shape of the broom being referenced, in which case, there are plenty of other objects better-equipped to stand in for broom. Moral of this story: Dont say this in public, because people will think youre horrible.
Russian: To pet ones monkey
Remember that scene in Mean Girls where the guy is like, is your muffin buttered? Thats what this reminds me of. If someone in Russia asks you to pet their monkey, theyre probably not talking about a monkey. Run fast. Or dontwhatever.
Portuguese: To play pocket pool
Playing with balls in your pocket = playing pocket pool. Guys, dont do this. Its not cute.
Albanian: To plow the land
Im not sure why, but plow makes me think of sex no matter the connotation. That said, this idiom likely references the metaphorical seed that is (sometimes, if you forget to use a condom) planted during sex. Remember, kids: Always use birth control.
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