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7 Serious Problems That Had Hilarious Cartoon Solutions

As bizarre monkeys with too much imagination, we humans generally enjoy some outside-the-box thinking. Whether it’s a time-saving lifehack or a crazy new potato chip flavor, we’re all about being creative and doing the unexpected. However, in regards to solving big issues, we have a tendency to be more reserved, carefully weighing options and making logical decisions. Not everybody, however. Let’s tip our hats to the wonderfully insane men and women who whined up terrifyingly cartoon-like answers to very serious problems.

7

Guam Targeted An Invasive Snake Species From Dive-Bombing Them With Poisoned Mouse Assassins

Sometime during World War II, a cargo boat arrived in among Guam’s ports. However, unbeknownst to anyone at the moment, a host of brown tree snakes had stowed away on the vessel, and it slid the snakes to the island like a reptilian STD. And while everybody was somewhat preoccupied with the ongoing world war, the snakes multiplied. Exponentially.

Pavel KirillovExactly what each island heaven wants: a serpent plague.

Since Guam doesn’t have native snakes, this invader from Australia had zero rivalry for groceries. Because of this, the brown tree snake has spent the past half century seriously injuring a number of Guam’s native species. It wasn’t long until the USDA and EPA reached the exact same conclusion: The snake had to go. But apart from sending in a trained army of mongooses, poison are the sole solution. But how do you poison an whole species out of a area without severely damaging the other fauna and flora in the process? Three words: skydiving mice assassins.

As it happens, acetaminophen (better called Tylenol) does more than relieve pain and lower your fever; it’s a naturally-occurring toxin for snakes. The medication prevents their blood from carrying oxygen, and despite seeming like demon spawn from hell, brown tree snakes need oxygen to live as the rest of us. When it came to finding a way to supply the acetaminophen to snakes quick enough that there could be some critters abandoned, the people of Guam came up with an ingenious alternative: They stuffed the acetaminophen inside dead mice and shipped them parachuting to the treetops.

Peter Savarie/U. S. Geological Survey Like fuzzy wuzzy Green Berets

The installation is fairly simple. A dead mouse is stuffed with acetaminophen and attached to a tiny piece of cardboard and streamer. This very small parachute is then dropped from a helicopter and gets entangled in the trees. By maintaining the mice up in the trees rather than on the forest ground, scientists are able to get the poison directly to the tree snakes, who’ll never realize that their new Amazon mice delivery agency is actually a lethal trap.

U.S. Dept. of Agriculture

U.S. Dept. of Agriculture*Perform for full effect*

While the teeny paratroopers won’t eradicate the snakes completely, they’ve been useful in keeping the people under control. Police are also utilizing snake seals, snake-sniffing dogs, and snake hunters to reduce the number of snakes slithering around the staircase. However, we salute the ceremony and sacrifice made by American’s ittiest troops.

6

The Quickest Way to Clean A Beached Whale

Beached whales are among the saddest sights on the planet, and watching is all we could do while those wriggling behemoths die as their absence of legs comes about to kick them in the blowhole. Even now, we still have no idea of why those oceanic titans toss themselves on our beaches. However, we have a few ideas on how to get off them.

Discovery ChannelNotably, with the perfect fusion of human ingenuity and human stupidity.

In 1970, an enormous whale carcass washed up near Florence, Oregon. This offered a unique challenge to officials: How do you eradicate eight heaps of rotting whale? Sure, they might have let nature take its own course, but nobody was that keen on spending the upcoming few years going to the shore surrounded by vomit-inducing stench and swimming in whale runoff.

Discovery ChannelGood luck spinning this to a positive, tourism board.

There was talk of burying it, burning it, or cutting it up, but finally, a far more respectful and tasteful solution was offered: shoving dynamite in the corpse’s mouth and blowing it to kingdom come. Engineers guessed, “Pieces of blubber [could] scatter in the water, [and] what was left could be cleaned up by seagulls and crabs.” And you know that it’s a fantastic strategy when you’re relying on fishes to do all the heavy lifting for you.

Of course, because the town could use live explosives on public ground, the event attracted a lot of onlookers. Seeing a whale burst was much more entertaining than sporting jeans and listening to Led Zeppelin, or anything it was ’70s folk did for fun. For safety’s sake, bystanders were advised to remain at least a quarter of a mile away from the blast zone. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a radical underestimation, and everybody and everything in a half mile or so got showered with rank whale.

Discovery Channelweren’t carrying benign little flecks of whale, either.

Almost miraculously, nobody got hurt by the literal bunch of corpse shrapnel that taken through the sky. A sheet of blubber that the size of a coffee table flattened a car, while people along with other vehicles were pelted with smaller pieces. “Blubber is so dense that a bit as big as the tip of your finger could be like a bullet and kill one,” an onsite reporter later confessed, meaning that the town did the marine biology equivalent of throwing a grenade to an ammo depot and inviting everyone to come and watch.

However, despite the massive explosion, destroyed cars, and blubber-encrusted bystanders, the majority of the carcass did not even budge. In the end, crews murdered the remaining chunks of whale, an option they likely should have gone with from the start.

5

Ecologists Fixed The Rainforest With 12,000 Lots Of Orange Peels

Industrial waste will have a bad reputation. Many large plants and factories have a habit of polluting soil and water using disgusting runoff, killing vegetation and giving fish all matter of unappetizing mutations. However, there is 1 industry whose waste is achieving the precise opposite, with its detritus to heal the rainforest. We speak, of course, of those orange juice industry.

In 1997, two ecologists entered into an unlikely partnership with Costa Rican OJ maker Del Oro with the goal to kill two birds with one USFWS-licensed stone. This was the scientists’ theory that the pulp and peels of oranges could help them reforest the barren region of a national park, so they desired to use the company’s squeezed oranges in their experimentation. In return, the company had a free and ethical place to ditch all its own citrus-y waste.

Daniel Janzen and Winnie HallwachsIt was surely the greatest-smelling waist-high agricultural waste ditch.

Scientists designated a massive ditch zone within the park, an area where the soil was too depleted for the tropical forest to rebound naturally. One thousand truckloads and some 12,000 metric tons of orange peels later, the result was a somewhat orange however very pleasant-smelling field.

Daniel Janzen and Winnie HallwachsWhen the experiment fails, were set to make a Great Deal of Old Fashioneds.

However, a jealous rival fruit company decided that this beneficial waste management was standing in the way of something much more significant: greed. Ticofrut filed a suit, alleging that the peels had not just “defiled a national park,” but also created an unfair market advantage for one of its competitors. After an effective smear campaign, the Supreme Court ordered the project to be closed down. Even the ecologists were forced off the property, and Del Oro had to go back to dumping their waste everywhere. But the orange peels remained, and nature became unstoppable.

Tim Treueroverlooks the orange-treated side on the right side. You know, the part with all the plants.

In 2013, after 15 decades of obscurity, a grad student from Princeton stumbled upon the lost orange peel ditch as a potential study place. When investigators eventually arrived at the site, they discovered it unrecognizable. In contrast to untreated control areas, they discovered that the orange peel areas had “Richer dirt, more tree biomass, higher tree-species richness, and increased forest canopy closure.” Considering that the “stunning” gap between the fertilized and unfertilized locations, they’re hoping their findings will convince other countries to take this more “appealing” (sorry) way of recycling.

4

Relocating Beavers By Dropping Them Out Of Airplanes

Back in 1948, Idaho’s Department of Fish and Game had a bit of a beaver Issue. An uneven inhabitants had developed throughout the state, and since beavers reside to create dams and path water like little fuzzy engineers, this meant some areas got too much water while others got too little. Also, they really wanted to build some houses in a heavily beavered place, which meant it was time to begin some evictions. Luckily, rather than killing them, officials determined on a much more humane alternative: grabbing them, pushing them into boxes, and kicking them out of flying planes.

Idaho Fish and Game Department People have a thing for airborne flea remedies, it sounds.

They figured they can mend their beaver imbalance by relocating 76 beavers to distant, underpopulated areas, but they hit a small snag. The underpopulated areas in question were so rural that they were simply inaccessible by road. They tried obtaining the beavers there by horse and mule, but it was that neither animal was willing to travel the crazy with a bunch of bucktoothed maniacs strapped to their backs.

Idaho Fish and Game Department They may look like an animal made by Walt Disney, but dont be fooled. Beavers dont play.

However, Idaho Fish and Game had two entities no other governmental departments had: a shortage of common sense along with also a surplus of parachutes from World War II. A very smart man named Elmo Heter made a unique wooden box that could hold a beaver while it was sailing through the atmosphere and open when it hit the ground.

Idaho Fish and Game DepartmentOtherwise, they would only be creating a bunch of tiny coffins.

3

Numerous Cities Solved Cop Shortages With Cardboard Cutouts

In regards to following the legislation, there is nothing like a siren and flashing lights to make people behave. That is why police wish to be as visible as you can; their mere existence is enough to send offense plummeting like it has been dropped from a rooftop by Batman. But since police officers can’t be everywhere at once, a number of cities across the globe are now fighting crime with the ability of cardboard. That is right, the cop on the corner can in fact be a life-size facsimile.

GeoBeatsNews via YouTubeSure, lots of police need to be braced vertical with a big rock.

In Bangalore, India, traffic is so notoriously bad that it’s not unusual for people to up and drive the incorrect way. Realizing that no good will come of this, police finally have fake cops posted at three active intersections. Since the police commissioner says: “The tendency among road users is that if they see there isn’t any traffic policemen at any stretch of the street, they try to violate traffic rules.” So today, these cardboard prints of mustachioed Bangalore cops take the beats nobody else will, staring into traffic and indicating that any wrong-way driver should turn the hell around.

In Fife, Scotland, their first Scottish-Arborean police officer has already become a small celebrity. “Pop-up Bob” patrols roads with his radar gun in an attempt to discourage speeding. He moves to a new location every hour, because even cardboard people require a change of scenery every now and then.

The ScotsmanAlthough it seems like the larger story is a small city that would preferably stop speeding than ticket it.

However, the most realistic cardboard cop needs to be the one guarding a railway station in Boston. That is because it’s the cardboard twin of a real defeat cop, Officer David Silen. Since setting a cutout of this Transit Police officer, the number of monthly bicycle thefts at Alewife Station has decreased from five to one. It goes to show that a bit of thick paper with a badge painted is sufficient for most punks to inquire how lucky they are.

WBZ-TVMotorcycle thefts are down, however sexual selfies with all the cutout remain a constant matter.

Two

The Rural U.S. Rigged A Phone Network Through Barbed Wire Fences

From the late 1800s, most people in urban areas could enjoy the magical and convenience of the Bell Telephone system. However, while anyone can pick up a telephonic device at their local general store, having access to telephone lines was another story altogether. While the cities were hooked up, many rural and untamed regions of the country were getting fed up with having to walk 70 miles to talk with a neighbor. Finally, some enterprising farmers chose to take things into their own hands and made an independent mobile network some three million households strong.

How did they get it? Some smartypants realized that if they had no telephone cable, they had lots of barbed wire to go around — about their subjects, to be particular. Turns out, all metallic cable is pretty much the exact same for these functions, and also the materials used to keep people at a distance may also keep them connected. To combine these components, all you had to do was buy a telephone from Sears Roebuck and clip it to a fence, as long as you did not mind having all your cows listening in on your conversations.

The Daily Herald“Unlimited texting if you include a mailbox.”

The one major difference between the official networks along with their barbed wire counterparts was that those pirate networks had no switchboard, so all the phones used the exact same line. So when those rural communities got connected, they did so using nothing but a prickling conscience to stop somebody from listening in on a neighbor’s calls. Ironic, actually, since barbed wire will be used to get rid of snoopers, not make it easier for them.

1

Paris Unclogged Its Sewers With Giant Balls Of Iron

Have you advised your toilet how much you really love it now? You ought to. Toilets continue to be the pinnacle of human accomplishment, a huge network of pipes and porcelain keeping homes shit-free. But these wonders are not without flaws. Every time a toilet gets clogged, we curse our diet, grit our teeth, and catch a plunger. However, what happens when sewers get backed up? Did old-timey people even have plungers big enough to conquer such barricades of poop?

Atlas ObscuraLike many problems previously, what they lacked in technology, they compensated for with sheer balls.

From the 1850s, the decent people of Paris started cleaning their sewers with a method that could only be described as “epic.” You see, they got these enormous iron balls, 10-15 feet in diameter, and then applied velocity. The balls were raised and sent hurtling through sewer pipes like bowling balls of the gods, clearing any blockages with pace and ferocity. Called boules de curage or “balls of courage,” these poop torpedoes can now be viewed in person at the Paris Sewer Museum, which we assume has a less-than-successful gift shop.

FilipAlso, its probably the only museum where guests dont ever need to be reminded to not touch anything.

Although the sewers have been modernized in the intervening decades, the balls are sometimes taken out of retirement and sent down the chute to get a garbage roundup. After all, what sanitation worker would not jump on the opportunity to play pinball having an whole town?

Inform your toilet how much you really love it using hearts on the toilet paper. Everybody will think it’s adorable and not weird in any way.

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