Survival

27 Topics To Ask Yourself When You’re Wondering If He’s A Millennial

1. Is his Murray Hill apartment co-signed by his mothers?

2. Do he have his mothers credit card on him just in case?

3. Has he gushed about the new brunch place he simply went to?

4. Was said brunch place actually an deserted dumpster in a rat-infested alleyway behind a Whole Foods in Brooklyn?

5. But it had bottomless mimosas for $15, right?

6. And even though he simply violently complained about how overpriced Whole Foods is, he still shops there?

7. How many Instagram adherents does he have? Is it style more than you think is possible for someone who says he writes for the internet?

8. Is he vocal about politics? Are you positive, after listening to him talk about politics, that he actually have no notion what the fuck going on here?

9. Is he drinking a smoothie juice?

10. Has he expressed disdain in drinking any sort of milk that wasnt sourced from some kind of nut?

11. Is his iPhone 6 charger frayed at the end?

12. Does he even have an iPhone charger?

13. Did he invite you to go to a farmers marketplace?

14. Did he say he needed to buy some fenugreek seeds at said farmers market?

15. Did he justify his need to go to the farmer’s marketplace because of all his very specific dietary restrictions?

16. Are you confused how he can afford fancy seeds when he just told you that he actually doesn’t work in a physical office, but expends all day in whatever artisanal coffee shop is closest to him( as long as there’s free wifi )?

17. Does he sometimes work from home and?

18. Is he boycotting Tv until comes back?

19. Has he checked the number of views on his Snapchat story?

20. Did he simply slut-shame a Snapchat filter?

21. Did he mention that girls are hotter on Bumble than “theyre on” Tinder?

22. But he still employs both apps, right?

23. Has he told you cable television is dead?

24. But his parents still pay for his Hulu subscription?

25. Would he run into oncoming traffic for a selfie?

26. Has he verbally hashtagged something to you?

27. Has he denied adamantly that while he technically was born in the Millennial generation( 19822004 ), he is not a Millennial.

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